Well, it’s 2018–a new year and a time to think about goals and resolutions. I would love to be healthier in 2018 than I was in 2017, but some things you just can’t control or plan for. There was a point in 2017 when I found myself asking this terrifying question: “What if God’s plan for my life isn’t to be healthy and strong, but to bring Him glory in my sickness and weakness?” I still have many questions and few answers, but I do know that amidst my uncertainty, God must be glorified.
Don’t get me wrong, I have personal health goals–you know, the ones that include losing weight and exercising more. However, if those are my only and primary goals for 2018, then my year will be wasted. Health is a good thing, but it is not the ultimate thing. I spent some time thinking about what my theme “word” is going to be for 2018, and it came to me in the middle of the night while I was suffering the affects of the flu–it was NOT a healthy start to the new year! My word came from a sermon on Christmas Eve titled, “To the Glory of God Alone” and it stuck with me in a powerful way. On Christmas Eve, I found myself again asking that same question: what if God’s plan for my life doesn’t include health…but is to glorify Him in sickness?
I feel like I have done a pretty good job in general at giving God glory in my life, but wait, Pastor Benjamin, you are saying glory to God ALONE?? Like, no glory for me?! My eyes were opened to how sinful it is for me to try to steal glory from the God of the universe! You see, I am fine with giving God glory and all–especially in the big things. But the reality is, I like to get a little credit. Credit for things like being a good mom or a thoughtful writer…maybe credit for my health accomplishments or credit for playing the piano well on a Sunday morning.
My goals for health accomplishments are now up in the air due to a lesion on my spine, leaving me with a numb hand so I can no longer play the piano very well. Even the ability to be the mom that I want to be is threatened with the possibility of disease…and my ability to write and type–well, it’s not fun when you can’t feel the keys accurately. What happens when those personal “glory” moments are gone? I am finding that seeking personal glory is not something worth seeking, but spending my time and putting my efforts toward giving God ALONE the glory–that is what I want my 2018 to be about. I don’t want to waste my life worrying about how many people will read this or like it on Facebook. Me? I am like dust and will fly away in the wind one day, but God–He is eternal and magnificent and deserves ALL glory. Soli Deo gloria.